Totals:

Number of miles driven:  4023

Number of miles Tricia drove:  0

Number of nights away from home:  19

Number of bags of Bugles eaten:  6

Number of pickle backs consumed:  23

Number of meals without cheese:  0

Number of weeks before we will be unpacked:  6

Number of Xanax pills consumed by Anxious Lulu:  7

Number of Xanax pills consumed by Formerly Anxious Judey:  0

Number of babies eaten by wolf pack:  0

Number of months that need to pass before we take another vacation:  48

So here's a bit of a wrap-up since we've been home for three days now and I haven't found the time to even post the rest of the photos from Chris' commencement.

In a desperate cry for attention, I mangled my fingers on a burr on Judey's leash snap.  Chris informed me that he was going to celebrate with his classmates and that if I needed to go to the hospital that I should call either my or his parents.  In the end, I wrapped them tightly and then snuggled in bed with the boys and watched MI-5.  Best night of the whole trip.

Commencement.  Chris had to turn in his robe in order to get his diploma, so he wore the hood with his suit.  Apparently, I was sleeping through the whole thing because there isn't a photo of me with my eyes open.

This is a Plymouth Gran Fury and it is almost identical to my first car, which was a 1982.  Mine had red velour interior with black pinstripes and the floor was rusted away, so it was pretty much the carpet that kept me in.

Creighton's campus before the class graduation party.

The original site of the College of Pharmacy at Creighton.

After the class graduation party, we went out to a local brew-pub and then later to America's Best Gay Dance Club.  I complained that my martinis which were all vodka came in a smaller glass than the fruity cocktails, so I started ordering them without olives to maximize the amount of vodka I could pour down my gullet.  Then I declared that I am the best drinker ever and that I was never going to go home or sober up again.  Chris made me go home though and while I was sitting on the bed taking my plague medicine, Bean jumped up and gave me a flying headbutt which knocked me out cold.  Chris said I snuggled up to him and went to sleep, so he should've known that I had a concussion, but except for a painful lump on my forehead there doesn't seem to be any long term effects.  The next morning we packed up and headed for the motherland.

We drove through T. Boone Pickens' wind farms.  There were hundreds of windmills, so I put a dog bowl on my head, started calling Chris Sancho and then I sang the entire catalog from Man of LaMancha.

We didn't take any photos in Michigan.  The dogs ran wild and then laid in the shade and made a family of chipmunks very nervous.  We worked the dogs for the first time since Asheville and since our families don't know what kind of obedience we are aiming for, they were very impressed.  We saw our amazing niece Kori who chirped and fluttered around until we were all exhausted.  We ate at Tony's, home of the Giant Steak Sandwich.  We made my dad, stepmom, aunt and uncle eat all of the food left in Rattling Rosie so that we could fill the fridge up with Michigan made products.

By the time we left MI to head back to Albany, I was so beat that I slept most of the way home.  For some of it, I tried to seem supportive and slept in the front seat, but for most of it I illegally slept on the bed.  Sleeping on the bed in the back of Rosie was like trying to sleep on a trampoline while three big people jump on it, but this was not a deterrent.  Bean snuggled up with me and we were in dreamland.  Fortunately, I happened to be in my seat and buckled up when we got pulled over in Ohio.  It was like 9am and Chris was driving erratically which was due to high winds in a big car, but then the officer determined that we were not drunk, but just crazy when he saw our wolf pack and let us go with a warning.

When we pulled into the driveway, the grass in the front yard was short.  We were impressed that it didn't' look too bad and just blamed it on the fact that we don't have much grass, only weeds and they kind of grow to a predetermined height and then stop, but then we went into the backyard (insert Psycho theme music here).

 

It turns out that our next door neighbor mowed the front for us which was really nice and I am very appreciative.  Then we started unpacking...

Our time in Omaha was a blur and I didn't have a chance to write blog entries, so I'll summarize now:

We got in to our beautiful casino parking lot RV park Wednesday evening and we were beat.  The sleep we got on the road from Tennessee wasn't restful because we pulled over to sleep at the only Walmart in TN that doesn't allow overnight parking.  It was late, so we figured we'd be OK for at least a couple of hours, but we were both edgy and nervous about someone from the Walmart coming out to tell us to leave and then the wolf pack would go bananas barking and growling and then the Walmart worker would probably pee his pants and then call the cops and Rosie is not a great get away vehicle.  She's pretty conspicuous, what with the big murals of active people who probably have herpes plastered all over.

Beautiful RV park.  Similar to accommodations in Asheville

Anywho, I was not willing to venture into a public place because I was too disgusting and tired and even though you can be super disgusting and tired at a casino buffet, I wasn't interested in that either.  I made us some macaroni and cheese and we went to bed.  In the morning we walked over to the casino to claim our discounted breakfast buffet only to find that they discontinued the breakfast buffet. This was very disappointing, but they did have a cafe that was open for breakfast so we went there.  9:00 in the morning is bad news in a casino.  There were some people with their wheelie oxygen tanks who probably got up at 4, so 9 is like lunchtime and then there were some poker players who had obviously been there overnight.  I'm sure they have the best decision making abilities after sitting in the same chair since 9 the previous evening.

That day we went to the delightful Bass Pro Shop which was adjacent to our "RV Park" and spent way more time and money there than we anticipated including playing this super fun shooting game where the stuffed animals that you shoot, do something funny or dramatic to indicate that you've hit them.  It was super duper fun and we only stopped playing because I ran out of dollars.  I kept trying to go back to play more, but Chris was really insistent about going to his graduation events.

Friday morning, I made my mom and stepdad drive me to the mall so I could buy a gajillion dollars worth of Creighton apparel and a sweater to go over my dress.  At the mall I med Honest Abe and he and I have some history together so we were happy to be together again.

Friday evening was the hooding ceremony for the College of Pharmacy and Health Sciences which apparently means Doctor of Occupational Therapy and Doctor of Physical Therapy.  Here are some pics of Dr. Manley receiving his regalia:

Tiny Chris getting hooded.

Relief.
Photo courtesy of Mike Manley

One size fits all mortar board dents.
Photo courtesy of Mike Manley

Proud Parents.

Scholarly.
Photo courtesy of Mike Manley

$238,000 Keychain
Photo courtesy of Mike Manley

After the hooding ceremony, we all went to this fantastic Indian restaurant.  I had some amazing black lentils and a fancy pants drink called the ginger fizz that was super delicious.

Yummy.
Photo courtesy of Mike Manley

We stopped over in Franklin, TN on our way to Omaha to visit a friend who moved there from Albany three years ago.  Of course, just before our visit, they discovered that they were going to be moving to West Point, PA at the end of the month, so they will be closer to us for hopefully visiting more often.  We ate at a southern style restaurant which I'm pretty sure they just call restaurant, but the food was pretty stinking good.  Chris ate the chicken fried chicken and it was a really large portion, but I had no chance of getting a bite of it.  Fortunately, Misty ordered the same thing and shared some with me.  It was super delicious!  I ordered some roasted chicken thing that was gluten free and not very memorable, but the baked beans were the best I've ever tasted.  I would pay good money for the chicken fried chicken and baked beans recipes.

After dinner we went shopping a little and I got a super deal on a full length puffer coat.  I don't know why anyone in Franklin, TN would ever need a coat like this, but I guess that's why it was on super clearance.  This is very exciting because my existing long puffer is looking pretty beat.  Then we headed back to Misty's for a glass of wine, but instead I chugged a bottle of wine and then Chris and I hit the road.  Needless to say I didn't stay awake to offer stimulating conversation while Chris drove.

In Asheville, we had dinner with one of Chris' classmates and her charming family.  They took us to a BBQ joint with live string music that made me want to move there.  I had the chopped pork platter with vinegar slaw and deviled eggs and I can't remember what Chris had because the tip of the BBQ sauce bottle I was using was clogged so I inverted it and squeezed really really hard.  Clearly having the plague has affected me mentally.  The sauce was a vinegar based sauce so it was a sticky clear colorless liquid with some chunks of spices and other stuff in it.  These qualities were both my undoing and my saving grace.  When the chunk of whatever it was was dislodged, sauce hit my plate at like 60 psi and then it splashed in a wide circle covering me from my neck to my knees in sauce and probably Chris' classmate too, but since she has two smallish kids, she probably was fine with it.  My arms were really sticky and uncomfortable, so I tried to wash them off, but it just spread the stickiness in a fine layer over a larger area and made it less pleasant.  Once again, Tricia is successful in making a good first impression!

Then we all went to a local Asheville ice cream parlor and I had salted caramel ice cream that totally blew my mind.  It's a good thing we don't live there.  Once again, I don't know what Chris had because I was overly absorbed in my own experience.  I'm a terrible partner.

OK, picture time.  Here's the view from our RV park in Asheville

I wish the weather had been clearer for photos, but it was pretty hazy for most of the visit.  This RV park was all grownups and dogs and it was perfect for us.  Our neighbors said they never would've known that we had 3 naughty dogs with us, the ultimate compliment.  The morning we left I did see a really scary spider at the bath house.

Louisa looking like she's behaving herself.

Judey-lumpkins enjoying the view from the campsite.  (Actually keeping an eye out for two standard poodles.)

The view from the campsite.

Bean never poses nicely for photos, he's always so goofy.

The drive to Asheville was exciting on account of the torrential rains and the extreme grades.  We got in late to the campground which I reserved specifically because it was on top of a mountain.  Between the time I reserved it and the time we drove there, we watched a movie called 'Cabin in the Woods' where a group of unwitting youngsters drive into the woods in a borrowed RV despite all of the warnings and things don't go well.  As we wound up the mountain, there were little signs telling us to keep going that we were almost there.  Scary zombies are getting smarter about killing tourists.

The campground was nice and small and all of the friendly people gathered around to see Mr. Fancy Pants park his rented RV.  Fortunately, Mr. F-P did a great job and didn't run hardly anything over.

On Sunday and Monday we went to the Biltmore Estate.  Chris and I do not have a lot of stamina for sightseeing and after like 2 hours we get tired and sick of being around people and we end up sitting in some restaurant tossing back french fries and white wine.  At the Biltmore, if you buy tickets for one day (think Disney prices), they let you come the next day too for like 25 cents extra, so we decided ahead of time that we would go both days.  On the first day, we went on the self-guided tour of the house which was pretty incredible.  You are not allowed to take photos inside the house, so I have nothing to show for it.  Many people opted for the audio tour where you can pay 10$ to wear headphones that like 100 other greasy people have worn this month and then you'll have to talk REALLY LOUDLY to your tour companions.   The loud talking was enjoyable.  On the second day, we signed up for two guided tours, the Butler's tour which covered everything that was needed to keep the house running including mechanical systems, food delivery and preparation and staff housing.  It was super awesome!  We saw the whole sub-basement and learned that the original heating system is still in use (converted to oil though) and the original electrical system was operational until 1994 when it was replaced with breakers.  The house is still fully functional 'off the grid'.  If the end of the world really happens, the Cecil family will be still living with all of the most modern conveniences from 1895.

The second tour was the architect's tour and I thought that meant that you had to be an architect to take it, but judging from the lack of square, black glasses and the high number of fanny packs, I doubt there were any architects on it.  Most of this tour was spent on the roof, so we could take as many photos as we wanted!

An example of the intricate stonework that covers the house.

The Winter Garden roof.

The view from the top of the stair tower over the front lawn.

This is the flashing that's used on all of the roof ridges, GV for George Vanderbilt.  It was originally covered in gold plate, some of it still remains on this portion.

The roof!

I got tired of ruining everyone’s beach vacation with my whining and hacking, so we decided that on Friday we would go to the aquarium at Fort Fisher, NC and then pack up and head back to BFF’s house in Durham, NC.  Then I would just be ruining their regular weekend and not a day at the beach.

I’m not sure if every single day at an aquarium is school field trip day, but every day Chris and I try to go to one, the parking lot is full of buses and this time was no exception.  In attendance were the Holy Rams kindergarten class (including chaperones, filled two buses) and another middle school group that were entirely too cool to wear matching t-shirts who filled three buses.  We got in first and hoped to avoid the groups, but since we all wanted to watch the dive show in their huge 22 foot deep shoal tank, we had to tolerate them. 

My feeling on kids aged 12-17 is that they should be put somewhere where they can talk about how uncool everyone else is without interfering in other people’s enjoyment of activities.  They all stood around discussing Sienna’s hair and how hot Devon is and they couldn’t give a flying fig about the environment or anything in it.  The kindergartners tried to pay attention to the dive show, but after they asked where the fishes went to the bathroom (it turns out they don’t have underwater privys), they lost interest and moved on to the gift shop where they could make a mess and beg for souvenirs.

The aquarium has an albino alligator called Luna who was unusually active when we were there.  One of the staff volunteers told me that he’d never seen her this active and he agreed that she was probably hungry and would likely eat one of the Holy Rams as they were exactly the right size for alligator snacks.

Then we headed to Durham to enjoy Duke University’s excellent Urgent Care Clinic and Bandidos Mexican Restaurant (for medicinal frozen margaritas) where they have a burrito called ‘El Gigante’ and if you eat the whole thing, you get a t-shirt.  I successfully talked Chris out of this endeavor, anticipating some GI distress, but then he met this guy called, “El Scorcho”.

Welp, Chris ate El Scorcho’s burrito and there was a curse involved and let me tell you, it wasn’t pretty.  Fortunately there was no curse involved with my steak fajitas and the Chicken en Mole was so good that we went there for lunch Saturday as well so I could have a whole plate of it to myself.

Alright, here's an update:

The Plague - A coworker of mine gave me the plague two weeks ago.  I've been sick for 12 days with a bad headache, horrible hacking cough (you know, the kind old men do in movie theaters) and stuffy nose.  I am trying hard to ruin the vacation for everyone by requiring many trips to drug stores and having to plan activities around my napping schedule.

Louisa - Louisa was jealous of all of the attention Jude gets because of his anxiety, so she decided that she can act crazy too.  First she made a strange cry/howl for an entire day.  At some point during that day, she destroyed the plastic pan in her crate which gave her access to the rental RV cushions so she ate one of those because they looked delicious.  Then we gave her a Xanax and she totally felt better and vacation didn't seem so scary.

Rattling Rosie - We are sleeping in the RV because I thought it would be a way for the dogs to have some stability while we are gone for 3 weeks, but also, we are sharing the beach house with my BFF from kindergarten and her family.  Including Evil Baby Jack from a previous post.  Judey, Beans and Lulu call him, "Delicious Baby Jack" and keeping the dogs in the RV most of the time keeps them from eating the tender, juicy little bugger.  Lulu tasted him yesterday, but she didn't go back for more, so maybe he's like a Red Delicious apple and he looks fantastic, but tastes mealy and gross.

The Beach - I have been avoiding the beach because the loud wheezing, hacking and nose blowing, but we did manage to talk down there last night where I mostly complained that I was cold and Chris mostly complained about me.  Then, this morning we went for a while which was really nice and relaxing, but then we had to come back because the sun was getting too hot for the likes of us (wimps).  Chris took some photos, I'll post later.  My new plan is to go to the beach at like 9 and stay until 10:30 or 11 and then come back here for bloody mary time.

I'm going to sign off now because like I said, It's bloody mary time.

Here are some photos from the trip so far:

Louisa - cried for like 6 straight hours.

Bean - perfect angel.

After listening to Lulu squeal, we decided to see how she
would act if she was loose.  She tried to wiggle
underneath Chris and then she resumed whining and
drooled on us relentlessly.

The boys - perfect angels.

Judey - panting, eyes darting wildly.

Chris and the pups chillaxin'.

Judey-cakes

Evil baby Jack.

What evil baby Jack is going to look like in 50 years.

OK, sorry for the delay, but I'm still sick and wolf pack behavior has taken a turn for the naughty, so I haven't been having enough relaxing/drinking/writing time.

While the dogs are really great in the RV, they are extremely naughty in the beach house.  We are still sleeping in the RV which I should mention takes up the entire front yard - more on that later, but if we want to hang out in the house and eat dinner at the table they charge around the place knocking things off tables and Judey can of course open the screen door so he's always threatening to terrorize the little neighborhood.  It's not super relaxing.

Rosie is parked on the street in front of the house.  She doesn't fit under the carport, so the driveway is not an option and I am a little concerned that the cops will come and tell us we can't park an RV there and then we will be banished to the super trashy RV park that I saw on the way into town.  Last night we go to sleep and we were in the bed in the back, but the dogs only want to sit in the cab, so they were there keeping an eye on things, and everything was fine until around 1:30 when they all started barking.  We called them all back to the bedroom area and I peeked out the window.  There was an unmarked police SUV there with flashing lights and a GSD barking it's head off.  I thought it was overkill to send the K9 unit to give us a ticket for parking an RV on the street, but then I looked and they had one bad buy cuffed and were searching him  and there was another bad guy with black jeans and no shirt complete with mullet laying on his belly on the street with a cop sitting on top of him!  It was like we were in a version of COPS!  If I had taken a photo of this, I would have had to blur out their faces to protect the identities of the innocent!  Now that is not something that we see at home.

I promise more photos later.

OK.  Everyone meet Rattling Rosie, our luxurious home for the next three weeks.  In a panic at the last minute, we upgraded the rental from a unit that would be comfortable for a family of four to one that would be comfortable for one of those TV families with fundamentalist religious beliefs.  When I reserved the small one, I was worried about ease of maneuverability and gas mileage.  That was 6 months ago, I hadn't even begun worrying about traveling with two very large and one very naughty dog.  I can't even move around my kitchen with them around, so I don't know how I thought I was going to function in an RV as big as a coat closet.

We set out last night a little after 8, and I am writing this from a rest area in Maryland where we slept last night.  Here are the things we have learned:

1. Riding in an RV is noisier than riding in an open cockpit airplane.  I anticipate permanent hearing loss.  I tried to stuff washcloths between the windows and the screens to quiet the infernal rattling, but it didn't do anything except possibly void our damage deposit.  
2. When you tell people that you're coming to visit and you want to park your RV at their house, they will actually move away to avoid you.  We were supposed to visit my sister's family on this leg of the trip, but they moved to Denver where they felt safe from our Cousin Eddie style visit complete with big, trash eating dogs.  We had also planned to visit some friends who moved to Nashville a couple of years ago, but he suddenly accepted a job offer in PA!  In the future we will not notify victims of our visits.
3. New Jersey is still the worst place in the world.
4. Dogs will always make a liar out of you.  Jude is perfectly suited for RV travel.  Who knew?